You Can't Always Get What You Want
by Veracityrules
Summary: Padfoot, Wormtail and Prongs know that Moony is gay. But what they don't know is that this 7th year Gryffindor has a secret boyfriend and how will a certain 'straight' canine animagus react when he discovers them in a compromising position? MWPP: MM slash
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I am J K Rowling and I_ do_ own Harry Potter and all associated characters. I am sick and tired of all this childish crap and have decided to write some gratuitous slash. Convinced?...Oh bumcrack. Okay, okay! I confess, I'm not _really_ J K Rowling and _I don't_ own Harry Potter etc…there satisfied? Bloody killjoys and frigging anti-impersonation and copyright laws, can't a girl plagiarise for once and get away with it?

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**You Can't Always Get What You Want**

Sirius Black burst through the door to the Seventh Year boys' dormitory excitedly, which he shared with his peers. The handsome eighteen year old's cheeks were flushed; a sure sign that he had run all the way up to the room, nestled high in the Gryffindor tower.

James and Peter barely acknowledged his entrance and continued playing their thumb war on Wormtail's bed. They had long since become immune to Sirius' penchant for dramatic entrances!

But Sirius Black was an attention seeker.

However, Remus watched expectantly as Sirius bound over towards him; no doubt with some exciting tale of his most recent sexual conquest. Times like these were common place between the two and were a bittersweet experience for the young werewolf.

Remus Lupin had been in love with Sirius Black since he was fourteen. His first real crush had, over time, had developed into love but Remus Lupin was no fool. He was under no illusions and had quickly come to realise the unlikelihood of that love being reciprocated by the very handsome and very _straight _heir to the noble and most ancient house of Black.

The love he now felt was similar to that of distant hero worship of a famous rock or film star. It was nice to fantasise about but unlikely that anything would occur.

His emergent feelings towards Sirius had made Remus realise his homosexuality and he had 'come out' to his closest friends back in his fifth year at Hogwarts. Like his '_furry little problem'_, they had accepted his sexual orientation unconditionally.

James had informed him outright that he didn't mind one bit as long as he was aware that_ he_ only went for girls, a tall leggy redhead in particular. Peter had simply echoed James' sentiments; parroting his comments. However, the words seemed to lack the same sincerity as Prongs'.

Remus had almost laughed out loud. Huh, as if there was any chance of him fancying the chubby, slightly odd looking marauder! Gay didn't mean desperate. Whereas Sirius' reaction to the news had been somewhat daunting to him. Antithetically, his reaction had been one of coy flirtation. The news that Remus actually fancied blokes prompted Sirius to flirt outrageously with him at every opportunity.

"Hey Remus, are you planning on joining the Sirius Black Fuck…er, I mean Fan Club?" He offered thoughtlessly.

Had he not been made of sterner stuff, his fragile heart would have splintered into a thousand shards at his friend's unknowingly insensitive behaviour.

"Hello? Earth to Remus, come in Remus!" Sirius said, waving his hands in front of his face in an effort to rouse him from his musings from the past and back to the present.

"I'm here Pads." He answered indulgently.

"You will not believe who I have just nailed in the Arithmancy classroom."

"Er, your cousin Bellatrix?" Remus joked.

"Erww. Not funny Moony, not funny at all man." He spat, screwing his face up at the thought.

"Okay, you got me, I give in. Who?"

"Who is the hottest piece of seventh year arse in Ravenclaw?"

Remus hesitated_. 'Oh God!'_ He thought for a second.

Sirius looked at him, expecting an obvious answer to his question. He then became frustrated when he didn't receive it quickly enough.

"Oh for pity's sake…, Lavender Bagman." He said exasperated. "Honestly mate."

Remus let out an audible breath. For a minute there he had thought…well best not go there.

"Arhh, are you jealous Moony?"

"What?!" He answered, a little more sharply than he'd have liked it to have sounded.

"Oh, poor 'ickle Remy is jealous because sexy Sirius is having it off with some hot brainy bird?" He teased, running his hands provocatively over his sinewy physique, pretending to tempt Remus.

"Sorry to disillusion you bud, but the only thing that I covet of yours is…" Remus sashayed over towards Black's bed, taking the provocation one step further and throwing him a come hither look for added effect.

"…your…secretstashofchocolatefrogs! Now give them to me." He said all at once, diving towards Sirius' foot locker.

"Oh no you don't you sneaky git!" Black squeaked, launching himself at the sandy haired boy.

They tousled playfully on Sirius' bed for a while, ending as always with Sirius straddling the smaller boy until he admitted defeat.

"Say it Moony!"

"No, I won't. Must we do this every time Padfoot?"

"Yes, until you learn not to mess with the Gryffindor sex god. Now say it." Sirius growled.

"Huh." He rolled his eyes tiredly and began. "Sirius Black is the hottest and sexiest marauder and I really want to shag…"

"Ah ah. That's not right. Say it again and this time, get it right!" He said with an amazingly straight face.

"Okay, okay. Sirius Black is the hottest and sexiest marauder and I really want _him_ to shag me. There satisfied now? You know you really are a narcissistic ponce."

"Yeah, but you love me anyway." Sirius leant down kissed him sloppily on the cheek.

"Come get off now. I've got to go over to the library and do some research for the Charms exam."

"That's not for two weeks Remus. You're such a swot."

Sirius rolled off him and let him up.

"That's why I get Outstandings on all my tests, whereas you are lucky if you scrape an Exceeds Expectation." Lupin informed him wryly, as he straightened his clothing.

Sirius merely grinned back at him.

"Hey, who needs brains when you look like this and have a diamond personality to boot?"

"You're so modest Padfoot."

Remus began gathering his books together.

"Want some company?"

"God no!" Rather more harshly than he would've like it to sound.

"What I mean is er…" He blustered, trying desperately to cover his tracks. "… is that I actually want to get some serious studying in and you being there will only distract me. Let's face it Sirius, within ten minutes you'll be mithering to leave." Sirius seemed mollified with his explanation.

"Nah, stay here with those two reprobates and regale them with what you did to the sexy Lavender." Remus offered, pointing towards James and Peter.

'_Phew! That was close.' _He thought.

Remus set off for the library and reflected on Sirius' comments. He had nearly passed out when he'd asked Remus who was the 'hottest piece of seventh year Ravenclaw arse'. According to Sirius it was Lavender Bagman, but if you were to ask Remus the same question, the answer would indeed be _very_ different.

The hottest piece of Ravenclaw arse, in Remus Lupin's opinion was Michael Bratherton. He was _very_ fit, _very _smart and Remus' _very_ secret boyfriend.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

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**Chapter 2**

It had all started six weeks previously when Mike had made a very clumsy pass at Remus during one of their evening patrols. They had been paired up together to patrol the upper corridors after a number of students had been caught snogging in the wall niches late at night.

During one particular patrol, he'd begun to notice how every now and again, Mike would slow down and lag behind. At first he had thought he was walking too fast for the severely shaggable Ravenclaw but after awhile Lupin realised that he was in fact dropping back to stare at his arse.

Of course Mike denied it when Remus confronted him about it. But as his boyfriend would later tell him, the expression of disbelief on the young marauder's face had prompted him to kiss Remus passionately. He told him that he'd never seen anyone who was in thorough need of kissing than Remus.

The irony of the situation was not lost on him; the two prefects had in fact ended up doing the very thing that _they'd_ been sent up there to prevent!

Both young men had decided to keep their blossoming relationship secret. Like Remus, Michael had come out to a select few friends and his immediate family but by and large, was still firmly entrenched in the closet!

'In the closet? Hell, they were going at it like bunnies in there!' He tittered to himself at his musings.

As he walked to the library, his reflection of his current relationship situation had provoked his inner voice to plague him. It had been doing that a lot lately, making him wonder if he had schizoid tendencies.

'_Why haven't you told the lads about Mike?'_It asked

'_Because I'm not ready to answer questions about our relationship yet.' _He reasoned back to it.

'_Bullshit, you mean, you're not ready for Sirius to find out you with someone!'_

'_No, no, no! That's not the reason at all.'_

'_You're frightened he'll find out and he'll see you're a functioning sexual being.'_

'_Of course I'm a functioning sexual being, that's why I'm with Mike. I might love Padfoot but I'm also a healthy, bloody horny young bloke and given time, I think I could feel the same way about him.' _Remus shot back.

'_Yes, but deep down, you're scared that Sirius won't give a crap who you're rutting with and then you __**really**__ will __have to face the reality that he is unobtainable.'_

'_Bollocks! Anyway, who died and made you Sigmund Freud?'_

Christ! He was starting to lose the plot.

He nodded in silently acknowledgment to Madam Pince, when he eventually entered the Hogwarts library. Both he and Michael regularly studied in the evenings when not on prefect duties and as usual, they were the only students there at such a late hour.

He grinned excitedly at the young man, who was seated at the table across the room.

He was of a similar height and build to Prongs but rather than untameable black hair framing fresh-faced good looks; Mike had golden blond hair and a face, which when his body finally matured, showed all the signs of being ruggedly handsome.

"Hey there sexy." The blond greeted him. "I was starting to think you were gonna stand me up." He admitted shyly.

"Don't be daft. I've been looking forward to this all day. I got caught up and I had to convince Sirius not to tag along."

Michael furtively looked over at the aging librarian and as expected, she had begun to doze off at her desk. He grabbed Remus' arm just as he began to sit down, pulling him up and leaving him no choice but to clumsily follow his boyfriend. Together they headed towards a rarely used section of tome shelves located at the very rear of the library they had use during their nightly trysts.

Mike pushed Remus up against the stone wall and kissed him roughly. Remus panted, slightly out of breath from the intensity of it.

"Wow, steady babe."

"Sorry Remus." He apologised bashfully. "I've been thinking about this all day and I guess I just got carried away."

"Well, I forgive you but I can think of a way you can make it up to me if you like." Remus said suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh I just bet you can."

Michael slid his arms around Remus' neck and they continued to kiss, albeit with less ardour than previously. As the passion of the kiss increased, Remus felt Mike's hand move from his shoulder and downwards to his crotch. He felt him cup his cock through the fabric of his robes.

"Oh Christ Mike!" He breathed, tearing his mouth away.

The Ravenclaw merely smiled wickedly and proceeded to slide to his knees.

Remus knew exactly what to expect.

He flattened himself up against the wall for support as Mike lifted his robes, seeking the fly of his trousers. He slowly hooked his fingers over the waistband and undid the button. Remus closed his eyes and groaned. Performing fellatio on each other was the furthest either of them had gone within their relationship.

They had agreed not to go any further and fuck because of their respective virginities. The logistics of engaging in virginal anal sex was somewhat different and time consuming than straightforward heterosexual relations. With both of them being rather cerebral in nature, they had rationalised that for the passive partner to benefit and enjoy the experience, time was needed for sufficient preparation and a rushed fumble in the back of the school library was unlikely to accomplish this.

Remus also had an undisclosed reason for not wanting to take it that extra step yet.

Ordinarily, werewolves mated for life.

The bond was usually so strong between a mated pair that they often remained together until one of the couple died. As much as he liked Michael, he wasn't sure if he liked him enough to commit himself to him forever. Besides, even before they reached that stage, Remus would have to confess his lycanthropy to him. After Mike knew about that, the decision to mate may very well be academic if he didn't accept his 'furry little problem'.

Michael continued with his seduction, sliding the zipper down torturously slow. He leaned forward and nipped Remus' cock whilst still confined to his underpants. His hips bucked forwards and he growled. A thought occurred to him; silencing spell.

He quickly whipped out his wand from the pocket of his robes and cast it. He could get a little noisy when he came, howling and grunting depending on the level of arousal.

"Shit, you smell good enough to eat babe. In fact that's exactly what I plan to do." He said, reaching inside and freed his hard member. "I can't wait to ride this Remus." He added absently, before swallowing it down to the root.

Remus almost came then. He thrust his hands into Mike's hair, absently massaging his scalp in encouragement. He resisted the urge to use his head as leverage and control the rhythm. In his inexperience, the blond had done it to him the first time Remus had sucked him off and in the end he'd had tell him in no uncertain terms that it pissed him off being ragged by the hair. He had of course apologised profusely and the werewolf instantly forgave him.

Michael continued his ministrations, bobbing up and down Remus' cock. He sucked and tongued the shaft as he went.

God, he was close already. Watching his lover sucking him off was downright hot.

He was getting better and better at this every time he did it. He knew exactly what turned him on and what made him come.

Just then two things happened virtually simultaneously.

Number one, Sirius Black came around the corner, Marauder's map in hand.

"Hey Moony, I know you said don't bother but I thought I'd come and keep you company after al… What the fucking hell are you doing?!" Sirius said disgustedly.

"Shit!" Remus croaked at being literally caught with his pants around his ankles and with his cock in another man's mouth, by his secret love.

And number two, Michael still unaware of the newcomer, continued on relentlessly as his hand came up and tugged gently on his balls.

Remus was lost.

"Oh just fuck off Padfoot." He said, actually meaning it; uncaring who was watching at that precise moment in time. The entire faculty of Hogwarts could have walked in on them and he wouldn't have given a shit.

"Can't you see I'm busy…ahhh." He grunted and promptly came in his lover's mouth.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

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Chapter 3

Meanwhile: sometime earlier.

"Want to go down to the dungeons and hex Snivellus? We can use the invisibility cloak and wait for him."

"Nah mate, I'm meeting Lily in the Room of Requirement in half an hour. And, believe me I'm in requirement of _some_!" James laughed.

Sirius just looked back dejectedly.

Bloody women. They were only good for one thing.

Prongs was no fun anymore, since he'd become hog-tied to Evans.

He was chuffed his best mate was getting his end away after lusting after the redhead for so many years but did he really have to desert his mates as well?

You wouldn't find him doing that, for a bird.

Nope, he was a _'fuck 'em and leave'_ man. No woman would ever come between James, Peter and his Remus.

Remus; of course. He'd go down to the library and sit with him. He'd spent enough time studying.

Now it was time to pay Padfoot some attention.

He got out the _Marauder's Map_ and went in search of Remus. As expected he was in the library. He noticed he was near some kid called Michael Bratherton.

Wait.

He knew that name.

Ah yes. A fellow seventh year. Ravenclaw, if he remembered rightly. Blond. A tall rangy looking lad.

A Ravenclaw. That no doubt explained it. Two brains together.

He often wondered why Moony had been sorted into Gryffindor. Not that he thought that Remy wasn't the courageous sort but damned, if the young werewolf wasn't the smartest person he'd ever met.

Smart and handsome.

God, he was at it again!

'_Stop it!'_ He cussed inwardly

Just when he was starting to think he was getting over his teenage crush on his friend; he'd be damned if his hormonally over-charged psyche didn't dredge up thoughts like that again.

When he first started having these lust-filled thoughts about his friend in the sixth year he had become scared.

He wasn't homophobic or anything but up until then he fancied girls.

_Hell!_

He always fancied girls, he still fancied girls, he just happened to start fancying his best friend Remus Lupin as well. It didn't help knowing that his friend was also into blokes, in fact it made it worse, knowing that if he _really_ wanted to do something about it, he could have the object of his unrequited desire.

Hey, he hadn't been refused by anyone he pursued so far.

So modest, for one so young!

It had started about the beginning of their sixth year at Hogwarts. After those first few panic stricken weeks, he has done something totally out of character for Sirius Black.

He did some research.

If Moony hadn't have been the focus of his obsession, he would have approached him for advice.

Instead, he had gone to the library and looked up same-sex crushes and latent homosexuality.

He discovered that it was perfectly normal for young teenaged boys to have crushes on either their peers or older men such as teachers etc.

'_It could have been worse'_ He thought mirthlessly. _'He could have developed a crush on old Slughorn!'_

Urgh. Perish the thought.

He'd breathed a sigh of relief when he'd read that crushes of this nature didn't always materialise into full-blown homosexuality or even bisexuality. More often than not, the crushes dissipate and _'crusher'_ often remained happily heterosexual for their remaining years.

But in the books he read highlighted a well exceeded timeframe.

'_There's always an exception to the rule.' _He had rationalised.

'_Eighteen months was a long time for a supposedly 'passing fancy' to last, especially when you're fantasising about them whilst you're banging some bird in an empty classroom.'_ That hormonally over-charged psyche voiced jeered back.

If he was totally honest with himself, it wasn't diminishing. He was just getting better at ignoring it and blocking the thoughts out when they popped into his head.

His only acknowledge vice was his rough and tumble sessions with Remus.

He couldn't help it.

It was a weakness in him.

He loved straddling the young man and teasing him and truthfully, he was teasing himself, just as much.

Christ!

He would wank himself stupid at night in bed; using the images of the sandy-haired Gryffindor squirming beneath him. Only in his fantasies, he wasn't squirming because Sirius was teasing him; he was writhing in ecstasy because Sirius was fucking him senseless.

One of his masturbation fantasies that had been particularly popular of late, had begun life when he'd straddled his friend's chest teasing him over fancying him. He caught Remus looking at him and he had taken the opportunity to jump on him and tease him; accusing him of eyeing him up.

Poor Remus hadn't known what fucking hit him and had looked stricken by the accusation. All the poor lad was doing was looking in his general direction and he had taken the chance and created yet another mentally pornographic scenario to get himself off at night.

In his nightly fantasy, he was no longer prodding and poking a perplexed Remus. No, he was kneeling over his chest and feeding his engorge prick into that welcoming moist velvety cavern. He braced himself against the post of his bed with one arm, holding his cock with the other and pumped repeatedly into Remus' mouth. Remus would hum in excitement and the reverberations would send shivers throughout his body. Then he would pull back and come over the young werewolf's face, covering it with his creamy fluid. He would watch avidly as Remus' pink tongue would dart from out and he would lick the sticky emissions from his rosy red lips.

No! I'm not queer.

He was so in denial!

And now rock hard!

He snapped out of his reverie, as he got to the library and found that Moony was nowhere in sight. Madam Pince was dozing happily in her comfortable wing-backed chair.

He stopped to consult the map. It showed him that he and Bratherton boy were at the back of the library, deep amongst the shelves.

Typical, only Moony and a fucking nerdy Ravenclaw would actually willingly go that that far end of the dusty old tome shelves. He sat at their table for a while, waiting for them to return.

Maybe if he could bug Remus, he'd ditch his study session and the Bratherton kid and they could go and raid the kitchens.

A while past and there was still no sign of them.

With the map in hand, he set of to find them both.

He weaved his way through the tall, dimly lit rows of books in search of his friend.

Fuck, where were they? He consulted the map once more and found that they were just around the corner.

He couldn't hear them.

They were probably sat reading some mouldy old boring book.

He turned the corner.

"Hey Moony, I know you said don't bother but I thought I'd come and keep you company after al… What the fucking hell are you doing?!" Sirius said disgustedly.

He couldn't believe his eyes!

There stood Remus with his trousers and underpants around his ankles. A look of pure ecstasy etched onto his beautiful features, getting sucked off by the Ravenclaw boy!

"Shit!" Was all Remus could manage to say but he didn't pull away. Bratherton hadn't seen or heard Sirius because of the silencing spell and he was continuing his ministrations.

Moony was too far gone at this point, he recognised the look.

"Oh just fuck off Padfoot." He said genuinely to Black. "Can't you see I'm busy…ahhh." He grunted and came violently.

All Sirius could do was mesmerised by the spectacle before him. It was all of his fantasies come true, only he wasn't the one responsible for that response. He was simply a voyeur, watching from sidelines.

He simply turned on his heels and ran.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

A/N: Thank you for you reviews.

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Chapter 4

"Fuck!" Remus said.

"That good huh? I'm flattered."

"What?" Remus asked distractedly. "Sorry babe, yeah. You were fantastic as always. I'm just not looking forward to going back up to the dorm."

"Why?" Mike asked, getting up from his knees and straightening his robes.

"Didn't you see? Sirius just walked in and caught an eyeful."

"Shit! He won't grass us up will he?"

"Don't be stupid. He's a Marauder, we stick together. Besides, that's kind of like pot calling the kettle black. No pun intended." He said wryly. "No, Sirius is the last person to comment on people screwing in dark corners around this school."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, don't worry about him. Anyway, I believe it's your turn for some fun." And with that, Remus dropped to his knees and returned the favour.

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Sirius stormed up to the Fat Lady's portrait that guarded the Gryffindor common room.

"Password please." She asked regally.

"Remus Lupin is a fucking cock-sucking poof!"

"Well I never!" She exclaimed in outrage. "Such filthy language and from someone from such an aristocratic family! You disgusting boy!"

"Shut up. You're just a fucking painting and the password is Merlin's cauldron. Now let me in you fat stuck up sow!"

The portrait opened and he shoved his way through, slamming the door behind him hard. The portrait almost detached from its frame; the lady braced herself against the sides, in an effort to prevent her from falling.

He stormed his way up to the dormitory and threw himself on his bed.

All he could see in his mind's eye over and over agian, was Remus orgasming. He could still hear the slurping sound of the Bratherton kid sucking him off and Remus' hands in his hair urging him on.

God!

He'd fantasised that very scene a thousand times, only _he_ was the one being sucked off, _he_ had his hands in Remus' hair, _Remus_ was making those sounds sucking him off.

No Goddamit!

He was straight.

He was disgusted.

_Disgusted it wasn't you!_

No!

It's unnatural.

_No it's not. Loads of witches and wizards are gay in our world and no one thinks any worse of them._

Unnatural; dirty.

Remus was disgusting for doing it with the Bratherton.

He was disgusting for fantasising about it.

_If it's so disgusting, dirty and unnatural, then why have you harder than you have every been in your life?_

He hated himself for it.

At this moment in time, he hated Remus Lupin.

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Remus and Michael had parted on the main staircase with plans to meet the following night.

Now, he had to deal with the consequences of the incident earlier. He expected some shouting but nothing major.

Sirius, being an ultimate specimen of heterosexual evolution would no doubt be horrified at witnessing his and his boyfriend's homosexual encounter and suitably grossed out by it.

Psychologically, straight men often felt their masculinity threatened by homosexual sex but overall, he felt that Sirius would come around eventually.

He would probably be more pissed off at the fact that he'd kept _him_ having a boyfriend a secret or that he wasn't seeing a fellow Gryffindor.

He sure had looked pissed off though.

"Nah." He dismissed. Sirius was fine with him being gay.

Hell, he'd had two years to get used to it.

As he approached the Fat Lady, he noted that she was talking frantically to a number of other visiting figures from other paintings, who were grouped around her, listening avidly.

"Why madam, the youth of today simply do not respect their elders like they did in our day." Remus heard one commenting.

"He was positively disgusting! The profanity, heaven's above!" The Fat Lady answered. "Anyone would assume the boy was brought up in Knocturn Alley, not as heir to the esteemed Black family."

'_Oh shit!'_ Remus thought.

He coughed to gain their attention.

"Excuse me madam, may I enter please. The password is Merlin's cauldron."

"You sir, your friend, Master Black has gravely insulted me. I shall be speaking to the headmaster about his behaviour." She told him, releasing the door for him to enter.

"I can only apologise on his behalf madam for his transgression and assure you that he was acting out of character. He has had a bit of shock and was merely reacting to that." He said sincerely.

"Huhmm. No excuse." She huffed.

"I shall speak to him and tell him to come down and apologise to you." He headed upstairs, not before hearing her informing her guests what a nice polite boy Remus was and it was such a shame that his friend sadly lacked the same manners.

He smiled to himself.

He reached the top step of the stairs before his room. Taking a cleansing breath, he entered and prepared for the fallout.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: See chapter**** 1.**

**A/N: ****My apologies for the length of time between updates but I have been busy at work and had a touch of both writer's block and procrastination. **

**Chapter 5**

With his hand on the handle of the door to their dormitory; Remus took a deep cleansing breath to reinforce his strength and entered the room. He decided to make light of the situation and play it down.

"Fucking hell Padfoot, can't a fella get a little head in peace? I almost shit myself when you came around the corner. For a moment I thought we'd been rumbled by old Pincey."

His declaration was met with a stony silence. However he continued on relentlessly.

"Sorry you saw that though. I know how you hetero blokes are about guy on guy action. I hope it hasn't scarred you for life?"

Remus noticed that the stony silence was now accompanied with a look, what could only be described as sheer revulsion. The young werewolf was at a loss of what to do or say next.

His heart sank. It was worse than he thought.

He had a feeling that he was about to lose one of the best friendships he had ever managed to generate throughout his miserable and lonely life. The thought of this almost tore his heart in two.

His love for Sirius was secondary. He had come to accept that he would never return his feelings but he could live with that as long as their friendship remained intact.

"I'm sorry Sirius." He offered resignedly. "I simply don't know what else to say mate."

Sirius stalked over to him menacingly. They faced each other; their noses were pressed close together.

"You disgust me."

Remus broke eyes contact out of shame, his eyes downcast as he began to mourn a friendship lost.

Silently he wept inside.

Sirius no longer felt any such compunction to remain silent on the subject. He shoved Lupin's shoulders hard. Remus merely took it.

He shoved him harder to provoke a response. When it became apparent that he wasn't prepared to retaliate, he spoke again.

"It's not natural; you're not natural."

Remus' eyes shot up!

"And of course, being a werewolf is completely natural isn't it? Yet you accepted that unquestioningly, when I told you about that." He retorted sarcastically.

This threw Sirius for a moment.

"Yes, but your being turned into a werewolf wasn't your fault!"

"Are you insane? As if I haven't got enough strikes against me in this life. I'm scarred; I'm a werewolf _and_ I'm queer! Do you think I actually chose to be gay?"

Sirius knew he was being irrational and unreasonable towards Lupin, but he couldn't help himself. He was fighting both his upbringing and his burgeoning attraction to Remus. Deep down, he knew a person didn't choose their sexuality but as they say, attack is the best form of defence.

"Have you even tried to fancy girls?" _Oh my God, did I really just say that?_ Black thought.

"Yeah, Padfoot I did and do you know what? I feel the same way about doing anything with a girl as you do about doing it with a bloke."

Remus misunderstood the high pitched squeak that emanated from Sirius throat as disgust at his analogy, when in reality Black's cock twitched at the thought of doing that very thing with the werewolf.

"I rest my fucking case."

However, the homophobe within came out fighting once again.

"Slavering over another man's dick and coming in their mouth. It's disgusting, just like you!" Black sneered, shoving Lupin once more.

This time Remus retaliated physically, shoving him back hard; releasing his latent lycanthropic strength, which he constantly hid. Sirius fell onto his backside, _hard_; shocked by Lupin's strength and reaction. He'd never seen Remus strike back physically at anyone. It was obvious he'd come to the end of his usually placid temper.

"You just don't get to do this Sirius. You've been fine with my being gay for the last two years and had ample opportunity to voice this homophobic drivel during that time. But have you? No!" He shouted at him. Lupin leaned over his friend on the floor.

"Hell, you've even been flirting with me you fucking hypocrite. Not that I believed for one second that you were being serious, so don't now give me this crap about it being unnatural now you've been faced with the reality of the dynamics of sex between two men!"

Remus finished his rant; his chest heaving out of a mixture of anger, breathlessness and frustration. He simply shook his head at his former friend and walked out of their dormitory.

"Do you know something Sirius Black. At this very moment, _you_ disgust me."

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Long after the werewolf left the room, Sirius remained on the floor with his head in his hands.

What on God's earth had he said to his best friend? He was a fucking idiot.

Although, he truly believed what he'd told Lupin. He _was_ disgusted; he _did_ believe it to be unnatural, however much he wished at some level that _he_ was the one with and not some ruggedly good looking Ravenclaw.

In essence, Black was still fighting his own nature; his own bisexuality. And he did what any self respecting bloke did whilst in denial of their sexuality.

He went and out and shagged the first girl he could. And he did it later that night, in the virtually deserted Gryffindor common room, right there in front of Remus Lupin.

**Additional A/N: Sorry for the short chapter. More to follow soon. I just hope this keeps you going in the meantime.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: See chapter**** 1**

**Chapter 6**

After storming out of their dormitory, Remus needed space and room to mull over this stinking state of affairs. After what had occurred in the library earlier, he felt he couldn't go there to think things through, as he would usually do. After all, that's where this whole sorry mess began.

So off he went to the astronomy tower to reflect on the evening's events and maybe cry in private.

The painfully cold wind hit him immediately as he open the heavy wooden door to the roof. Maybe it would help numb some of the pain he was currently feeling.

Before he realised it, hot tears were tracking a path down his frozen pink cheeks and his chest heaved heavy sobs. He wept for his unrequited love, he wept for a lost friendship, he wept because he genuinely didn't know what to do but mostly, he wept because he'd lost control.

He had never hit anyone before in his life.

He wasn't a coward; far from it. He often had the urge to physically defend his friends in the various scrapes between the Marauders and their rival Slytherins but he always suppressed it; frightened of unleashing the hidden lycanthropic power within.

His werewolf side was always there, simmering beneath the surface throughout the lunar cycle. The night of the full moon was the only time of the month when it, the werewolf, truly dominated him; overriding Remus' control of the lycanthrope.

His sobs eased after a while and he began to see things more clearly, without his emotions clouding his judgment.

Sirius was wrong, he wasn't disgusting. He was a normal (well, as normal as any wizard who was also a werewolf) healthy young man.

A normal healthy young _gay _man.

And fuck him, if Sirius couldn't see that.

Remus knew in his heart of hearts that if Sirius was the one who was homosexual and he was the straight one, that he wouldn't pass judgement on him

_If onl__y Padfoot was gay! _His stubborn inner voice wished.

No, he damn well shouldn't judge his friend's lifestyle choice.

Maybe it was time for the scales to be ripped from his eyes and see his so-called friend for the selfish bastard that he really was. There were many times over the last seven years of their friendship that he had excused his friend's callous nature away on his strange and abusive upbringing or as him simply being misunderstood.

That was never more so than back in the beginning of the sixth year when Sirius had sent Snape down to the Whomping Willow on a night of his transformation. He had not only risked Severus' life but also Lupin's very existence.

The _Ministry of Magical Beasts and Creatures_ euthanised captured werewolves who were responsible for killing and maiming wizards, witches and muggles. He had quickly forgiven Sirius for his misdeed, putting it down to an immature lapse in judgement.

Well, not this time. He could go fuck himself!

Remus quickly dashed away his tears with the sleeve of his robes and headed back to the Gryffindor tower.

He resigned himself to the fact that if Sirius wanted to end their friendship, then so be it, there was nothing he could do about it.

It was almost midnight by the time he re-entered the tower through the Fat Lady's portrait. At first glance the common room appeared to be empty but his sensitive werewolf hearing picked up something; two distinct voices emanating from a shadowy corner.

He tried to ignore it as he walked by, as it was obvious by the animalistic grunts and smell of arousal that permeated the air and saturated his heightened lycanthropic senses that the couple were engaged in a sexual act. He really was in no mood to witness such an act, it hitting a little too close to home after the night's events.

However, after hearing distinctly hearing Sirius' voice moaning the girl's name, his head involuntarily shot up towards the source. Vindictive blue eyes clashes with sad amber ones.

"Roll your hips Suzanne. Christ, yes just like that. Fuck, yes." Black whispered, his eyes never leaving Remus' face, as he continued to piston into the anonymous girl.

Lupin couldn't look away, despite feeling voyeuristic. Black glared maliciously at Remus as he continued to screw her; his eyes silently screaming _'this is what's natural, this is what you should be doing.'_

Remus managed to keep his expression passive as he looked on and then finally, he tore his gaze away and walked up the stairs to his bedroom with a heavy heart.

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After a while, Sirius got up off the dormitory floor and stalked over to his footlocker to retrieve the disillusioned bottle of firewhiskey he had for emergencies and impromptu parties.

He flopped down onto his bed and guzzled a generous amount down, needing its anaesthetic effects to numb him.

So what if he'd hurt his best friend's feelings! Hell, his had been hurt too when he'd been forced to witness that abomination of nature earlier.

_Liar, you were hard as a rock!_

"Fuck off!" He said out loud.

Just then, he decided that what he needed was a good hard shag with someone of the female persuasion to cure his present melancholic state.

After imbibing a sufficient quantity of alcohol, he went in search of a girl of questionable moral character that he could manage to get a quick fuck out of without too much hard work needed.

Frankly, he was in no mood to beg for it.

As luck would happen, he encountered Suzanne Kettleburn, who'd been panting after him for weeks. He'd rebuffed her on numerous occasions as he thought her rather plain looking. However, firewhiskey had the benefit of improving the looks of even the ugliest of witches.

He flirted mercilessly with her on the sofa in the common room, long after all the other students had headed off to their beds. She had giggled at his flattery and eventually succumbed to his seduction. At first she had been reluctant to let him shag her right there in the common room but he couldn't be bothered to go out into the school and seek out somewhere more private.

However, after some careful persuasion and strategic pouting that hinted this was a one-time only offer, she had agreed to do it there in the shadowy corner.

He couldn't have planned it better if he'd tried to exact his revenge on Remus. Just as he was starting to enjoy himself with the lovely Suzanne, the young werewolf entered the common room. Sirius saw him long before he noticed them. He moaned loudly for effect, in order to grab his attention.

"Oh, Suzanne." The girl, in turn groaned in reply.

Sirius' and Remus' gazes clashed.

"Roll your hips Suzanne. Christ, yes just like that. Fuck, yes." He said, pumping into her.

Sirius' blue eyes pierced into Remus' amber orbs; silently screaming _'now you know how I felt. Not a pleasant feeling is it my friend?'_

The werewolf's expression never altered. He merely turned away and went upstairs out of sight.

Sirius continued to pound into Suzanne ruthlessly, until screaming his completion for the entire Gryffindor tower to hear, uncaring whether his partner achieved her climax or not.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: See chapter**** 1**

**A/N: Some of you may note the difference in the spelling of Mooney/Moony within the chapters and therein lies the Mooney/Moony debate. I would love to hear your thoughts on this issue. However, please note for the purpose of this fic, I shall continue from here on in to spell it Mooney and I can't be arsed to go back into the earlier chapters and change it, so please don't bother bringing it up. **

**Thank you for all your lovely reviews and enjoy.

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**Chapter 7**

It was just coming up to one in the morning when Sirius returned to the dormitory. As he entered, he noticed that with exception of his own, all the bed curtains were drawn. He felt a smug satisfaction that Remus had watched him fuck Suzanne.

He felt justified; he felt righteous.

He noticed as he walked passed Remus bed, to get to his own that he could hear Lupin crying softy. The idiot had obviously forgotten to cast a silencing charm around his bed. It was a necessity when sharing a room with three other hormonally-charged men.

He now felt….guilty.

What was he doing! He upset one of his best friends in the whole world because of his own personal issues.

It wasn't Mooney's fault for God's sake. It was his.

He reached over and pulled the curtain open slightly.

The werewolf looked up; his eyes reddened from his tears. His sad face took on a defensive expression, but the desired effect was lost on Sirius when Remus went and spoilt it by noisily wiping his snotty nose across his pyjama sleeve.

"What do _you _want now Black?"

"Mooney…I"

"Don't call me that! Only my friends call me Mooney and you have surely proved to me today that you are not my friend."

"Shush! You'll wake the others." He whispered. He quickly cast a silencing charm and scrambled onto Lupin's bed, closing the curtains behind him.

They faced each other down. Sirius wanted to apologise but it was not a natural act for a Black. Remus simply glared back at him.

"Look, I admit that I may have over-reacted earlier… Iamsorry." He mumbled at the end.

"What?"

"I-said-I'm-sorry, okay!" He enunciated, quickly turning away.

"Oh you think that's it? Just apologise for being a total fucking wanker and hey presto no problems because Remus will forgive you? Well fuck you Black! You hurt me, I mean _really_ hurt me. The Snape thing was nothing compared to this, you bastard."

Sirius swallowed. This was the first time Remus had ever mentioned the Snivellus incident since it occurred.

"I…"

"What possessed you to act like that? I know it must have been awful seeing me and Mike like that." Sirius' stomach rolled due to the casual way he referred to the Ravenclaw. The numbing effect of the alcohol was obviously wearing off.

"Fucking hell Sirius, you've know I was gay for two years and you've even made innuendos about blokes doing it, so I refuse to believe that you had no idea what it actually involved."

Sirius was still unable to voice his inner most thoughts on the subject, leaving Mooney to continue on.

"Were you upset because I kept my relationship with Mike secret? Because if that's the case, I did that for a reason. I didn't know it was last this long or how you guys would react to it."

"You're actually going out with him?!" He cried furiously.

"Yes, I have been for the last six weeks. Not that it has anything to do with you who I see."

Sirius looked away, unable to face Lupin.

"I see that we've reached an impasse, so this is useless."

"Have you fucked him?" Sirius demanded.

"That's none of your business!"

"I want to know!" He shouted.

"No, not that I give a fuck what you think. Now if you've quite finished, I'd like you to leave, I've got early patrols in the morning."

"Mrhmm." Black mumbled incoherently.

"What?!"

"I was jealous."

"I'm sorry?" Remus looked at him blankly.

"I SAID I WAS JEALOUS, OKAY!" He stated loudly.

"Jealous about what?" Still not quite comprehending Sirius' meaning.

"I was jealous you were with _him…_" He spat out like it was a dirty word. "…instead of with me."

Remus just looked at him, mouth agape. There, he'd finally said it. He admitted that he fancied Mooney, to himself and Mooney.

"Bollocks!"

"It's true!" Sirius defended hotly.

"You expect me to believe that you've been in the closet all these years, especially after watching you bang the Gryffindor bike, not an hour ago!" He said nastily.

"I'm not gay or anything, if that's what you're implying."

"Well, I hate to break this to you but I'm a bloke and if you fancy me, then I can pretty much guarantee that you're queer mate."

"But I fancy girls as well and just for the record, I don't fancy blokes per se, I fancy _one_ bloke; namely you." He retorted.

"I'm sorry but I don't think I believe you. I find it hard to believe that _Mr Straight_ himself has a thing for me. It's probably just a crush and it'll soon pass." Remus sympathised. "They're really common."

"It's not passed and it's not a crush."

"Of course it is mate. No wonder you've reacted as you did. I'm sorry I over-reacted too but…" His onslaught was rapidly cut off.

"I realised I fancied you the morning after the Snape incident." Black stated matter-of-factly.

"You're right, that's a long time for a crush." Remus conceded.

"See I told you so."

"Alright, alright. I see your point."

"Are we okay now? Friends?"

"Yeah sure." Remus answered uncertainly.

"Give us a hug you great big soppy werewolf."

"Come here then you mangy mutt."

Sirius crawled over to him at the head of the bed and threw his arms around his best friend. His throat clogged with unshed tears. Remus merely hugged him back in silent knowing.

As they pulled apart, something passed between them. A moment of uncertain understanding; a connection.

Sirius launched himself at Remus, kissing him passionately. Lupin returned it with gusto. Tongues and lips fought for dominance. Sirius brought his hands up the Remus' chest, feeling the broad expanse of the muscles that lay hidden beneath the pyjama top.

Remus' hands slipped south and grasped Black's muscular arse. Sirius groaned his arousal into the kiss. Being the more experienced in cases such as these, Remus experimentally moved his hands around the front of Padfoot's trousers and began to unbutton them.

Sirius didn't stop him.

He released his cock from the confines of his briefs and expertly pumped the shaft. Sirius tore his mouth away, closed his eyes and lay back, in essence giving Remus a carte blanche to do whatever he wished.

Remus slid down his Sirius' toned body and took the engorged member into his mouth. He could faintly taste something foreign, unmanly; probably what was left of the Kettleburn girl from his earlier encounter.

He almost gagged but something within made him continue on. Made him want to eliminate any trace of her from Sirius' body, leaving only his scent; his flavour.

He sucked and bobbed the shaft. Then teased the head, lapping up the pre-cum that gathered at the tip. Black moaned loudly; Remus was elated that _he_ was responsible for this reaction.

"Sirius." He whispered. Black looked up and groaned again. "I want you to watch me suck you off. Watch me."

Their eyes met as he performed fellatio on his love. His gaze didn't slip as he worked the shaft up and down, as he sucked the head like a lollipop or even as he slipped lower and tongued his balls. Remus could feel his own arousal growing as he gave pleasure to Sirius. However, like all good things, it wasn't to last.

Sirius could hold his orgasm off no longer. With a final long and deep suck, he came deeply in the back of Lupin's throat, pumping his hips erratically as if to milk every drop of seed from his body.

Mooney came back up, grinning inanely at Sirius as he heaved heavy breaths of air back into his lungs.

"I – have – never – come – so – hard – in – all – my – life." He managed to say.

"Good, I'm flattered." He moved to kiss Black on the lips but was a little confused when he avoided it. He kissed his cheek instead. "I hope we're not finished though? There is still the matter of…" His eyes dropped to his own painful arousal.

"Oh yeah, sure but I don't know…" Sirius evaded.

"It's okay, I'll take care of it. Come here though." Remus went to kiss him once again and again, he avoided his mouth; burying his face into his neck and sucking on a sensitive spot just behind the earlobe.

Remus shuddered. He fisted himself as Sirius nuzzled his neck and he soon climaxed over his hand.

He soon came down from his climactic high when Sirius disengaged himself from Remus and went to climb out of the bed.

"Where are you off to in such a rush?"

"Like you said Remy, you're up early tomorrow and I've got Quidditch practice." Lupin's face dropped. He recognised the infamous Black brush-off when he saw it. Shit, he'd seen it many times over the years.

"Why the long face? Hey, we'll talk tomorrow, I promise." Sirius leaned in and kissed his forehead tenderly. And with that, jumped into his own bed.

Remus had a bad feeling that things were about to change and not necessarily for the better.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: See chapter**** 1**

**A/N: ****Thanks for your reviews for YCAGWYW and thoughts and comments on the Moony/Mooney debate. Opinions do vary on the issue. I understand canon spelling is Moony (courtesy of JKR in the books) but many, like myself, feel it should be spelt with the e (like it is on the Marauder's map in the PoA film). I personally feel it just doesn't look right and that we shall just have to agree to differ on the subject.**

**A****nyway, all is not well in paradise, so read on and find out over the next few chapters just how much more of a wanker, Sirius Black is. Hold on Remus honey, you're in for one bumpy ride!**

**Forgive any errors and mistakes, I don't have my stories beta'd and I have the flu at present, so I'm not exactly on top form.

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**Chapter 8**

Remus knew that he should feel ecstatic this morning; he'd sucked Sirius off last night after revealed he had fancied him. But something just wasn't sitting well with the werewolf and he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

After laying awake for most of the night, his mood swinging violently from elation to depression over the night's events, he had decided to tell Sirius that it was a mistake and that he thought that they should remain friends only. The way Padfoot had behaved after their encounter hurt him.

He understood that Black would also be experiencing similar doubts and regrets about what occurred but that didn't give him the right to use Remus and then toss him away like a dirty handkerchief. He would sort this sorry mess out with Sirius and then confess his transgression to Mike.

Mike.

Poor Mike.

He didn't deserve a cheating boyfriend.

He probably would end up with no one by the end of it all but it was a small price to pay compared sacrificing his dignity.

He was unable to approach Black after coming back from his early morning patrols, as the other two Marauders were milling about the dormitory getting ready for classes. It was only after Prongs and Wormtail left for breakfast that Remus was able to catch Sirius before he too left.

The air between the two friends was strained to say the least. Mustering all his courage, Remus took the bull by the horns.

"Sirius, I think we should talk about last night."

"What's to talk about?"

"I think we both made a huge mistake but doing what we...umm did."

"Oh."

"It's just that...I mean. It's not that I didn't enjoy it or anything but I don't think it should be allowed to spoil our friendship. That's all."

Sirius was unable to face him.

"I think you feel the same, don't you?" Remus asked, trying to make eye contact with him.

"As a matter of fact I don't." He said defiantly, shoving Remus hard against the door and kissing him passionately, as he had done the night before.

When he broke the kiss, Sirius stared intensely at Lupin.

"Well?"

"Well what Padfoot?"

"Do you still want to forget about it? Because that's not the impression you gave me when you stuck your tongue down my throat just a minute ago."

"But..but...I thought, by the way you behaved that you thought you'd made a mistake."

"This is me Remus, I'm not renowned for my love of pillow talk."

He was still not convinced.

"Look, I have a boyfriend, on whom I cheated on last night. I…I just don't think this is a good idea."

Sirius growled menacingly.

"He'll have to go! I don't share my toys Remus. Tell him, today. And one more thing; I don't want anyone knowing about us. It's private; between you and me only. Understand."

"Err no to be honest Sirius. Are you saying you want to pursue this further? You want to go...go out with me?" Remus asked, unsure if his comprehension wasn't totally askew.

"What I want is a repeat performance of your skills last night and a whole lot more if that was any to go by lover." He said salaciously.

"Bbut…but." Remus stammered out.

"Look no time to talk now. Just finish it with the Ravenclaw and I'll find somewhere for us to hook up later, undisturbed." Sirius kissed him once more and then went to breakfast.

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Remus was still trying to work out what exactly he was going to do at lunchtime. He made his way over to the library to think things through, when two hands slid over his eyes.

"Guess who babe?"

"Mike." He thought dejectedly. He was not looking forward to this.

"Oh oh. That doesn't sound good. Is everything okay?"

Remus looked around furtively, checking that they were alone in the corridor.

"I need to talk to you. It's about us."

Looking around once more and finding what was required, he guided his boyfriend into an empty classroom and closed the door; warding it shut.

"I'm really sorry but I've got something to tell you."

Remus proceeded to confess everything; his hidden love for Sirius and their subsequent argument. He also told him about their bizarre encounter the previous evening after he admitted his jealousy and how this morning it appeared he wanted to pursue a relationship with Remus.

Michael listened quietly, taking everything in. When Remus was finished, he waited for his boyfriend's, sorry ex-boyfriend's reaction to his revelations.

"If that's what you want Remus, who I am to stand in the path of true love. I care about you babe and the last thing I want is you to stay with me by default." He patted Lupin's hand affectionately. "But, I feel I should warn about Black."

Remus opened his mouth to speak but the Ravenclaw stopped him.

"I know you what you're thinking and I'm _not_ doing this out of animosity. I care about you Remus and I'm going to tell you this because of that. Black isn't like us babe. He's never shown any inclination towards blokes before and I'm worried that you're setting yourself for being used by him. You know as well as I do that he is ruthless towards women and I can't see him being any different to guys."

"Sirius is a complicated character. He's had a rough upbringing." Remus rationalised.

"That still doesn't excuse his behaviour. All I'm saying is, be careful and don't take too much stock in what he tells you or you're going to get hurt. And if you do…" Mike brushed his fingers across his jaw. "…if you do, I'll always be here if you need someone to talk to; a shoulder to cry on so to speak."

Remus was choked up by Michael's magnanimity. He kissed his ex gently on the lips and headed back towards his original destination; the library to think through his options.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: See chapter**** 1**

**A/N: I'm sorry, it's a short chapter I know; no flames please. It has been done for effect only. I'm currently banging out chapter 10 as you are reading this.**

**For those kind reviewers who have commented on Mike and how sweet he is and then Sirius, for being a total tosspot. Yes, it is true. I have written Mike as a sweet hot guy who Remus really deserves to be with but this is an angsty romance fic and the 'ship is Sirius and Remus. But, it's going to be a rocky path before this evolves. And let's face it; there is nothing sexier than a reformed rake!

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**Chapter 9**

Later that evening, Sirius covertly slipped Remus a note at dinner, telling him to meet him in the transfiguration classroom at 9pm. He still hadn't resolved his current relationship dilemma, take up with Sirius or tell him that he didn't want to get involved.

This soon became academic; as within five minutes of meeting up with Black, he found himself on his knees, giving Padfoot a repeat performance of his fellatio skills.

"Fucking hell Mooney! Yes, just like, suck the head."

Remus cupped Sirius' balls as he sucked the tip of his cock into his mouth.

"Go deep, aahh, fuck yes! I'm gonna come." Black cried, as he pumped his hips furiously. He uncaringly grabbed a handful of Remus' and fucked the young werewolf's mouth until he reached his release.

Lupin rubbed his scalp to ease the stinging, as Sirius redressed himself.

"That was fucking awesome mate. Come on, let's go and hex some Slytherins." He said casually.

"Er…Sirius."

"What?"

"What about me? Don't I…you know, get a little action too?"

Sirius merely looked dumbfounded at him.

"Huh, never mind." He said resignedly; his heart weighing heavy in his chest, this was a mistake.

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Remus lay in his bed and pondered his situation. He planned to tell Sirius tomorrow that he didn't want to pursue a relationship with him. He might love the animagus but he was nobody' fool. It had become obvious that it was going to be a one-way thing.

Hell, Black didn't even want to _touch_ him like that. He could understand him being nervous; his first time with a bloke and all but there was something else, something lingering below the surface that told Lupin that that wasn't the only reason. Maybe Mike was right, maybe Sirius wasn't _truly_ into men.

At least this way, they had more of a chance of slipping back into their old friendship before too much damage had been done.

He was just dozing off to sleep when, like the previous night, Sirius slipped through the bed curtains and cast a silencing charm.

"Mooney." Black shook him. "Mooney, wake up."

"What." He blinked into the gloom. "What d'you want Sirius? It's late."

"It's never too late for some action." He was naked and very aroused. "Come Mooney, little Sirius needs your attention."

"No. No more Sirius."

"What?"

"I said no. It was a mistake, this thing between us. I don't want it to continue. I like you Sirius." He thought it was best not to reveal his love for his friend. "But I don't want it to ruin our friendship and it will. Just forget it happened and let's be mates once again."

"It's that Ravenclaw isn't it? He put this idea in your head didn't he?"

"No Pads, he didn't. I broke up with him because he deserved better than a cheating boyfriend. Face it Sirius, you're not into blokes. Hell, you haven't even touched me. It's all been about you."

"Well, I've only ever touched my own prick before." He said, his face screwed up in distaste as he spoke, as if the thought of touching Remus' cock disgusted him.

"And that's precisely what I'm talking about. Your expression speaks volumes. If you were into me, as much as I was into you, you wouldn't just look like I asked you to fuck Snape."

"But…"

"No. It over."

"Fine." He stormed angrily from out of Remus' bed.

Remus pursed his lips together to prevent his sobs from escaping. It had been brief; it had been both heaven _and_ hell but for the briefest moment in time, he'd had Sirius Black.

What he didn't know, was exactly how dear the price would be for that brief slice of Nirvana.

And he was about to learn that, hell hath no fury, like a Black scorned.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: See chapter**** 1**

**A/N: Irrespective of canon, my Mooney is staying Moon****e****y stupid or not (no offence taken, I'm just so damned stubborn). **

**The reformed rake stems back to 19****th**** century literature, where many heroes were written as callous, uncaring men who slept with any woman they could, gambled and were often based on real character traits of men of that era (it's often said that women love bastards). However, the romantic concept of these men falling hard for that one woman, **_**the**_** woman of their dreams was developed and is often still used in modern romantic literature today. **

**There is also a saying that reformed r****akes make the best husbands. Once realising their love, they will radically mend their rakish ways and bend over backwards to attain their heart's desire. **

**Are you starting to get the idea where this is going yet? Te he**** he, I am so going to have fun with this one! Also, hurray, a longer chapter to make up for the short ones added recently.

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**Chapter 10**

Remus Lupin was having a bad morning.

It had started when he got up and Sirius was made quite clear to him that, as far as he was concerned, Remus was a persona non grata. Wormtail and Prongs were baffled by this turn of events but both boys remained curiously tight lipped about the reasons behind the fall out.

Remus knew it would be awkward for the next week or so but he was convinced that Padfoot would eventually come round and their friendship would revert back to its original state.

But by lunchtime though, he was quickly disabused of that notion. Through the course of the morning, he had sat next to him in two extremely uncomfortable lessons and the air was strained to say the least.

This continued at the Gryffindor table throughout lunch. Sirius alternated between avoiding eye contact with the werewolf, to glaring menacingly at him until Remus could take it no longer.

"Look Sirius, can we at least be civil to each other in public?" Lupin whispered desperately.

Sirius stood up silently, wiping his mouth with a napkin; his aristocratic breeding showing through. He then threw it down carelessly, all the while never breaking eye contact with Remus.

"Don't ever speak to me again you fucking poof. Black's don't with mix with homosexuals and they _certain don't _associate with evil beasts such as werewolves!" A collective gasp rose from around the room and then a deathly silence fell.

Sirius merely ignored it and haughtily started to walk out of the Great hall.

Remus froze. He couldn't quite believe it, not only had Sirius out-ed him in public but he had also just revealed his greatest secret, his lycanthropy to the entire school.

The wolf within saw red.

He launched himself at him. Black was unprepared for the attack and was knocked to the ground. Sirius didn't stand a chance against the furious werewolf. Remus punched him viciously for his vitriolic attack. But before he could meter out any real damage though, he was pulled off Sirius by Prongs and Wormtail.

"Remus calm down. He's not worth it mate. He's not worth it."

Sirius lay on the floor, nursing two black eyes and a broken nose. Teachers appeared from all quarters and the fight was broken up.

A restrained Lupin was escorted to Dumbledore's office, whilst Sirius was levitated to the infirmary to have his wounds treated.

"What's going on Mooney?" James asked. "You two were always so tight. What's happened to change all that?"

"It's private."

"Not anymore it ain't. Fuck Remus, Sirius has just told the whole school that you're gay _and_ a bloody werewolf. You owe him no favours now mate." James shouted.

"It's private, between me and Padfoot. Two wrongs don't make a right Prongs."

"Fucking stubborn werewolf!"

"Quite, Mr Potter." Dumbledore said satirically.

"Sorry sir, I didn't know you were there." He blushed.

"Now, Mr Lupin, would you care to enlighten me as to why one of your best friends for the past seven years has decided to not only reveal your lycanthropy to the entire school but also cast aspersions on your sexuality?"

"Like I said sir, it's a private matter."

"It's a shame Mr Black didn't offer youl the same obligation. Anyway, no matter, no matter." He moved over to a cabinet behind his desk and poured all four of them a glass of butterbeer each; casting a quick charm to warm it through.

The headmaster waved his hand at the boys and bade them to sit.

"Drink up boys so we can discuss this further." Dumbledore eyed Remus curiously as he drank and he began to feel an odd sensation seep through his body. It wasn't the warmth of his drink, this was something else.

"I can see from your expression young Remus that you sense something isn't quite right. If you are wondering, I have given you boys a very small dose of Veritaserum. Quite forbidden by our school code but quite necessary in this situation." He said with a twinkle in his eye.

Lupin became agitated.

"Sir, I don't want anything that is said in here to leave this room."

"Agreed. All agree to a wizard's secrecy oath."

"Aye." They all invoked it.

"Right. Mr Pettigrew, tell me what you know of these events today."

"Nothing sir. They seemed to be fine with each other until a day or two ago. I really don't know what has caused them to fall out."

"And there's nothing else you feel you have to confess?"

Wormtail's face contorted as he tried desperately not to reveal his deepest and darkest secret.

"I masturbate over a picture of Bellatrix Black, sir." He clasped his hand over his mouth, unable to stop the tirade from his lips.

"Ergh. That's disgusting." James spat.

Peter hung his head shamefully.

"That wasn't quite the information I was looking for Mr Pettigrew but insightful to say the least." Dumbledore smirked. "And what about you Mr Potter?"

James also felt the pull of the truth serum.

"I wear Lily's underwear and she spanks my bare arse for being rude to the head girl in the Room of Requirement."

"Kinky but again, not the answer I was after."

James flushed with embarrassment at revealing his sexual fetish in error.

"I'm the same as Wormtail sir. I don't know why Padfoot and Mooney have been fighting."

"That just leaves you then, Mr Lupin. Tell me what's behind all this then."

"I'm gay sir."

"Oh. And did Mr Black take offence at this?"

"No sir, he's…what I mean is, these guys have known about it since the fifth year."

"So what's changed in the last few days then?"

"Sirius found out that I had a boyfriend. Michael Bratherton, from Ravenclaw sir."

"I know Mr Bratherton well Remus, he's a nice boy."

"Yes sir, he is. Anyway, Sirius caught us in a…compromising position in the library two nights ago and we argued."

"Argued because he caught you…?"

"Getting a blowjob sir." He said matter of factly.

"Wow. Way to go there Mooney!" James hooted. "Hey, why didn't you tell us you'd got a fella?"

"I'll tell you later."

"Back to you argument Remus. Why was Sirius angry?"

"Well at first I thought it was because he'd seen me and Mike at, well you know…_it_. But after having a go back at him. He confessed to me that he was jealous."

"Jealous of what precisely?"

"Jealous of me being with someone else. And then we kissed." The other occupants of the room just looked on, mouths agape.

"You and Sirius kissed?" James asked, breaking the silence.

"Well, yes and a bit more."

"What do you mean by 'a bit more'?"

"I gave _him_ a blow job. Twice!"

Dumbledore found it difficult not to chuckle.

"I've been in love with Sirius since I was fourteen but I never thought for one minute he would like me back in that way, tjough. I mean, he's just so straight and there was something about it that…that just didn't feel right, so I stopped it before it went any further. He didn't like that. He's my friend and I value that more than a brief liaison"

"Very wise for someone so young in years Mr Lupin."

"Thank you sir."

"You will find that the effects of the serum have now worn off. If I may ask you both to leave, I have some things I need to discuss with young Remus here."

The two boys seemed reluctant to leave Mooney alone but were reassured by the benevolent look the headmaster gave them. Once alone, Remus began to cry and Albus passed him a handkerchief.

"There now my boy, no need to upset yourself."

"No need to be upset. I'm finished here sir. The governors and parents will call for my expulsion. Who wants a vicious dark creature learning along side their child? It was a close call back when Snape…" Remus swallowed, unable to continue.

"I know, I know but I'm sure we can work something out in the mean time. You've worked too hard to finish school without your qualifications. In fact I may just have an idea."

With this, Remus brightened slightly.

"Really?"

"Yes, but it's going to mean some serious hard work from youself in the next three weeks before your next transformation lad."

"No problem sir."

"Okay then. First we need to move you out into separate accommodation. Seeing as Mr Potter chose to remain with yourselves in the Gryffindor tower. You can take to spare Head Boy's room. The only person close to you there is Miss Evans."

"That's fine sir." That solved the problem of him having to face Sirius day in, day out.

"You will no longer take your usual classes. For the next two weeks you will spend your days concentrating on revising for your N.E.W.T.S early. I will get the appropriate professors to set you a revision plan and you will sit your exams in that third week. I think I can safely hold off any expulsion order until then." The reality of his leaving Hogwarts finally hit Remus. "And once you have passed, you can leave of your own accord, not being expelled." Dumbledore looked pleased with himself.

"Thank you sir. I appreciate your help and support."

"Nonsense Remus, it has been my pleasure to teach you for these last seven years. Now, off you go to your new room. I shall instruct the house elves to move you things. And try not to worry, it'll be alright son."

Remus exited the headmaster's office wondering what exactly lay ahead for him in the future.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: See chapter**** 1

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**

**Chapter 11**

Remus went back to his room to tell James and Peter what had been decided. They descended on him the minute stepped through the dormitory door.

"What the hell's going on Mooney? They can't expel you so soon." James cried passionately, pointing towards the house elves moving Lupin's belongings. "Surely you have the right to appeal? I'll contact my dad; he's has some pull at the Ministry, he'll be able to do something."

"I've not been expelled yet mate. The Headmaster feels it would be best for me to move into the Head Boy's room until I'm officially excluded." Remus informed them. "I won't be coming to classes either. Dumbledore is arranging for me to take my N.E.W.T.s early, so at least I can leave with my qualifications."

"I'm gonna fucking kill Black for this!" James declared.

"Don't, please. Don't jeopardise your education. It's not worth it mate. Look, I'm going to be busy cramming over the next couple of weeks or so but if you want to, you can come over sometime. That is if want to associate with a social pariah like myself." He said, only half in jest.

"Don't tar me and Wormtail with the same brush as that arrogant prick. Of course we're still friends. Hey, we're Marauders; we're one less but we're still tight." He declared; his fingers crossed to indicate their closeness.

Remus could feel the sting of tears behind his lids. _This_ was true friendship.

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Madam Pomfrey fixed Sirius' nose and gave him an anti-swelling draft for the twin black eyes Remus had given him. Even so, she had insisted that he stay in the infirmary overnight for observation. She had remained unusually tight-lipped as she treated him once she heard that he'd let slip Remus' condition.

The medi-witch had rather a soft spot for Lupin if truth be told. Hardly surprising as the spinster had no children of her own and she empathised with the werewolf's monthly traumas. Poppy Pomfrey had nursed the boy through some horrific injuries; a by-product of his lunar transformations. On hearing from Professor Slughorn that Remus Lupin was likely to be expelled from the school in the coming weeks because Sirius Black had announced his lycanthropy to the entire school during lunch, hardly prompted her to fuss around Black.

_It was bound to happen eventually._ She thought about Sirius.

Bad blood will out.

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Sirius walked back to the dormitory the following morning; it was Saturday so he didn't have to rush to class and he'd already had breakfast in the hospital wing.

He was blissfully ignorant of the bad feeling towards him that was currently festering amongst the staff and student population. As popular as Sirius Black was, Remus Lupin was as equally well liked and admired and many people were incensed at the grave injustice done to him the previous day.

He began to notice the stares at first. Students stopped and whispered to their friends behind their hands as he walked by. Solitary students merely glared at him or sadly shook their heads in disbelief.

He was used to people staring at him but in a positive and adoring manner; with the exception of students from Slytherin house. He was unaccustomed to such widespread negativity.

Ignoring them all, he sauntered into the Gryffindor common room.

"Hey." He said casually to a fellow seventh year.

"Traitor." The boy blatantly ignored the greeting and muttered the insult under his breath; just loud enough for Black to hear it.

"What did you say?" Sirius demanded.

"Nothing." He sneered.

Deciding he was in enough trouble, he left the confrontation at that and went up to his room. The room was empty. He just wanted to crash out for a while and clear his head.

Yes, he knew he'd fucked up but in his arrogance, he thought of it as nothing but a storm in a teacup.

No one dumps a Black!

Maybe now Mooney would see the error of his ways and they could resume what they'd started the other night. James came out of the en-suite bathroom that adjoined the seventh year sleeping quarters.

"Goooood morning Prongs." He said cheerfully.

Silence.

James merely ignored his presence; not even affording the animagus a cursory glance.

"I said morning Prongs." He said more deliberately.

Again, silence.

"Okay, so that's how it's going to be. Fine, speak to me when you grow the fuck up Potter."

Sirius went over to his bed, threw back the curtains and was instantly assaulted by the smell.

Well actually, it was an assortment of smells. It smelled like…a toilet.

"What the fucking hell?!" It appeared that a number of people had decided to use his bed as a toilet. The red and gold coverlet was soaked in urine and it was evident that a number of different people had taken a shit on it too.

"Very fucking mature! You?"

James decided to respond this time.

"Oh, please, you give me far too much credit Black. Even I can't evacuate that amount of waste product. No, that my ex-friend…" He said for emphasis. "…is the result of one very pissed off house. I think you underestimated just how well liked Remus is and betraying a fellow Gryffindor, well it's just not cricket old chap."

"Fine. That's how it is, is it?" Sirius rummaged in his pockets for his wand to clean his bed. "Fuck, it'll never be the same." He grimaced.

"Of course, you can always sleep in that one." James said, pointing over to Remus' bed. "As you can see, it's spare now." He added, his voice changing from indifferent to hard.

"Why's it spare? Where's Remus?"

"ARE YOU TOTALLY FUCKING STUPID BLACK?" James screamed in frustration. "Remus is now staying in the Head Boy's room. Where he is trying desperately to study enough to sit and pass his exams early before they expel his arse out of here. THEY ARE GOING TO EXPEL HIM BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR FUCKING TEMPER, YOU SPOILT BASTARD!"

"Nah, they won't expel him. He's the smartest kid in this school."

"He's a bloody werewolf! You know what people are like and how prejudiced they are against them. He'll be lucky to still be here for his next transformation thanks to you."

Sirius tore out of the Gryffindor tower in a flurry of robes and headed into the main school in search of his target.

He had to find Remus and talk to him.

He had no idea what he was going to say to the young werewolf but he decided to cross that bridge when he came to it.

On his way there, he encountered the one person he wanted to avoid.

Michael Bratherton.

The pair glowered at each other as they passed; nether speaking a word. Then, as if an afterthought, the young Ravenclaw spoke up.

"If you're going to see him, don't bother. He won't see you."

"Really?" He said sardonically, stopping to confront Remus' ex. "Look it's really none of your business. We've been friends since we were eleven and you've what, known him for all of a few weeks and suddenly you're a fucking expert on Remus Lupin? I don't think so. So just butt out of things that don't concern you, ponce."

"With friends like you Black, who needs enemies? I can't believe you have the audacity to call yourself his friend after exposing his inner most secrets to all and sundry just because you didn't get your own way." Bratherton spat. "I know your type." He continued. "You think that if you only give and don't actually take it up the arse, that you're not really gay. Well, I've got news for you, it doesn't work like that. Face it you're a puff. Like me and like Remus."

Sirius turned beet red and stormed off to his original destination, ignoring the boy's warnings about Lupin.

He was heading up the final set of stairs on the main landing, when a number of sixth year students noticed his ascent towards the Head Boy's quarters. Rightly guessing where Sirius was going; they gathered together and blocked his way.

"Come on, shift out of the way." He huffed, in no mood for another confrontation, especially with some cocky young students.

"No." One particularly brave one said, as they stood their ground.

"Move!" He bellowed. Sirius recognised some of the students; they were mainly comprised of students Mooney had helped in a transfiguration study group earlier in the year.

"Piss off Black and leave Remus Lupin alone. Haven't you done enough damage already?"

"It's none of your business you little snots. Now move out of the fucking way." He growled menacingly.

The crowd began to move towards him; manoeuvring him back, further away from Remus' new room. Black had no choice but to retreat. However, not one to give up, he decided to attempt to quickly slip around the group but to no avail. They merely regrouped and prevented his passage. It then turned nasty when someone in the crowd spat at Sirius. Suddenly, the majority of them were spitting on him; booing and hissing as well.

Seeing the futility of his efforts, he turned tail and ran back to the Gryffindor tower, utterly defeated.

Once back in his room, Sirius slumped down onto Remus' empty, stripped bed. He put his head in his hands and groaned as the impact of his actions finally began to sink in.

"What have I done?" He said aloud to no one in particular. And then did something which he had not done since he was five years old.

He began to cry.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: See chapter**** 1**

A/N: Thank you for all your support and reviews for YCAGWYW. Actually knowing that people are actively reading and enjoying the story does help me to update quicker, as I feel obligated to continue on and entertain you all.

To answer one reviewer's query: **neo91** – the argument between Padfoot and Prongs was complete. What I did, was have Prongs ignore him but then James had the opportunity to have a real dig at Padfoot. He then became frustrated at his apparent ignorance of the effect of his actions had on Remus. It was then that Sirius left the dormitory to find Remus and talk to him.

I hope this explains what was going on in my head.

Sorry it's a short one but it's an update all the same guys!

Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for my new beta; the wonderful Gypsy Lupin-Black.

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**Chapter 12**

Sirius continued to sit on Remus' old bed long after his sobs had ceased and the salty tears had dried on his cheeks. He just sat; staring into space, pondering recent events.

Why, oh why, oh why had he revealed the one secret he had vowed to keep? It wasn't even like he'd let it slip to just one or two people by mistake.

Hell, he'd let everyone know that Remus was a werewolf.

No- it was worse than that. He'd announced to the whole fucking school that Remus was a _gay_ werewolf!

James was right; he was a spoiled bastard. He'd only done it because Remus had rejected him.

Fuck! No one had ever rejected him before. Except maybe his own family but shit, he didn't give a toss about that. They were all fucking crazy anyway.

But what really got him thinking though, was what the Bratherton kid said to him.

Was he gay?

Yes, he fancied Mooney but he also fancied girls as well and he'd never given any other bloke a second look. So did that make him gay? No, surely that made him bisexual didn't it?

As much as he hated to admit it though; the Ravenclaw had him bang to rights. He had thought that if Remus did it to him and he didn't reciprocate, that he couldn't classed as queer.

Not that he hadn't wanted to touch Remus when they'd engaged. No, deep down he'd wanted to take the werewolf into his mouth too and give him the same pleasure he'd received. But there was a huge difference between sexual fantasies and the reality of the actual act.

There was also the fact- not that Sirius Black would ever admit to it- but he'd been scared to do it. He knew he was a good heterosexual lover. Damn it, he'd been told so, often enough and he always made sure that his partner got off as well.

It wouldn't be good for business if he was a selfish lover!

Sirius snapped out of his musing. Moping around wasn't going to help him sort this sorry mess out. How did he stop Remus from being expelled? How did he get Remus to speak to him again? Apologise to him and return their friendship to its previous state?

He genuinely didn't know. Bratherton seemed to think that Mooney wouldn't see him, but if he appeared suitably remorseful maybe Remus would speak to him.

The dormitory door opened and James came in. He glared at Padfoot briefly and went about what he was doing.

It wasn't just Remus' friendship he had to reclaim but that of all the Marauders.

He rose and cautiously approached Potter.

"Er, James, I know I've cocked up king style but I want to make amends. I don't want this to be the end of our friendship. I'm going to go to Dumbledore and explain everything to him. Maybe he can do something to stop the governors from expelling Mooney." He told him quietly.

James didn't look at him; simply carrying on with what he was doing as he replied.

"Don't bother Sirius." _At least he addressed me by my first name_, Sirius thought. "Dumbledore knows everything and there's nothing he can do to prevent it. That's why he's trying to get Remus to complete N.E.W.Ts before they kick him out of school."

"I don't think he knows _everything _but if I go and see and expla-"

"No Sirius, he knows _everything!_" Prongs said for emphasis.

"Oh! …So you know then."

"Yes, I do." James rounded. "You stupid bastard, I can't believe that you would ruin a perfectly good friendship for the sake of a sordid experimental fumble in a broom cupboard. Couldn't you have found some other bloke's mouth to stick your cock in, if you felt like batting for the other team for a change?

"Don't you dare refer to what I did with Remus as sordid!" Sirius saw red and shoved James hard.

"You're off your fucking head!" Prongs yelled, shoving him back. "You're defending him, not twenty four hours after ruining his life. You fucking hypocrite."

All of the fight left Sirius and he collapsed into a tearful heap on the floor; a horrified James looked on. In the seven years he had known Padfoot, he had never once seen him cry. Despite Sirius' recent misdeeds, he actually began to feel sorry for the animagus.

It was obvious from his outburst that he had deep feelings towards Lupin, maybe even…

_Oh my God!_ James thought.

"You're in love with Remus!"

"What!?"

"That explains it. You were jealous that he'd got a boyfriend and when Remus told you that he didn't want to carry on with you, you got revenge."

"No that's not what happened at all." Black denied hotly.

"Bollocks! You've never cried over anyone else you've fucked, so why Mooney if you don't love him. You've certainly never defended anyone else you've screwed." James exclaimed.

Sirius tried to deny James' analysis but he found himself unable to. Was this the reason he's acted so unreasonably towards Remus?

Because he loved Remus?

He was in love!

He started grinning stupidly.

"I love Remus Lupin." He admitted giddily and then suddenly burst into tears once again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: See chapter 1**

**A/N: I am soooooo sorry! I know, I know I'm really naughty and should have updated **_**absolutely ages**_** ago but if it's any consolation. I stick by my mission statement as an author that I will never leave any of my fics incomplete. I have just been so busy with work and union commitments and severe writers block just to make matters worse!**

**But now I have now decided to simply write and go for it and pray to the great omnipotent one in the universe that my muse returns during it.**

**Followers may note that have I have reverted to the cannon spelling of Moony now. I have just lost the will to argue this issue. It simply isn't important! Apathy rules!**

**Enjoy folks.**

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**Chapter 13**

James looked on in shock as Sirius sobbed openly. However, his astonishment quickly subsided as he took pity on his long-time friend and sat next to him to try and offer him some comfort.

Yes, Padfoot had behaved atrociously towards Moony but now he realised _why_ Sirius had done it. It wasn't just because Remus wouldn't put out and he was being vindictive; despite Black's _belief_ behind why he was doing it. He had simply been hurt and had hit out in response to being rejected.

"You really are a totally and utter twat you know." James said without any real malice. "You have ruined whatever slim chance he had for a normal life. With his intellect, it was remotely possible that he could have secured some kind of job, be it here at Hogwarts or some other place that wouldn't have delved too deeply into his personal circumstances in order to gain someone with his acumen."

Sirius stopped snivelling briefly and then began again in earnest at hearing Potter's assessment of the situation.

"I know." He spluttered inelegantly; wiping his nose noisily on his robes. His breathing calmed a little. "You know Prongs, you really know how to comfort someone who is upset!"

James flashed Sirius a big cheesy grin.

"I need to make this right. What can I do to make this right?"

"I don't know if you can mate. The damage has already been done."

"Don't say that." He begged. "I'm a Black; I may not hold much stock in my despicable family name but it still carries a lot of weight within the wizarding world and if I can trade on it just this once for something useful I bloody well will!" He said with conviction.

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Without any real thought as to how he was going to get passed Remus' self-appointed student guards, never mind getting Moony to answer the portrait and speak to him; Sirius made his way to the Head Boy's quarters.

Luckily, it seemed that most of the student body had decided to take advantage of the extended evening meal times at the weekend; therefore only encountering the odd student en route.

He arrived at the portrait of a rather dour looking wizard. Black took note of the plaque, which detailed that the long-dead wizard had previously been both a professor and benefactor of Hogwarts. So, drawing on his all of his aristocratic pureblood upbringing, he bowed deeply and addressed the effigy in a formal manner.

"Learned sir, I have come to visit the occupant of the room you so efficiently protect. However, I do not know the password to gain direct entry. Could I trouble you to inform Master Lupin that I wish to speak to him?"

"Master Black." He replied haughtily. "I have heard lots of thee from many around this ancient building and naught of it good, I might add. I know that thy rotten behaviour hath caused Master Lupin a great injustice and it goes against all that I believe in to allow thee repeat this blight."

"You misunderstand my intention Professor Dorning. I merely wish to speak with Remus and apologise to him face to face. You are correct sir, I have wronged him and I merely wish to right that wrong." Sirius said humbly.

"Well." The portrait mused. "Seeing as thee hath asked in such a polite manner and thy intent seems sincere, I will asketh the young master if he will see thee."

The old wizard left the frame, obviously to inform Remus of his visitor. It was a few moments before he returned; from his expression, the news was not good.

"My apologies Master Black but Master Lupin hath declined to entertain you this eve."

Sirius' gut instinct was to rant and rave at the portrait; to demand that Remus let him in but for once he thought of the consequences of alienating the centuries-old image before him. He realised that he may need him as an ally in the near future.

Sirius once again bowed low and thanked Artimus Dorning for his time. He knew he needed a plan to get to Remus.

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Over the next five days, Sirius presented himself at the portrait after evening meal and repeated his request to see Moony and each and every time and the old wizard informed him that Remus wouldn't see him.

Padfoot had formulated a plan but due to its vicarious nature, he was only intent on using it if all else failed. However, as the days passed and Lupin's continual refusal to meet with him, it was looking more and more likely that he would indeed have to resort to it.

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It was the Friday evening following the incident; exactly one week to the day since he had exposed Remus' secret to all.

Black lay on his bed and lazily watched James get ready for his hot date with Lily.

"What've you got planned tonight mate?"

" 'Nowt really. Sit here and mope for lost opportunities I suppose, you know the drill."

"It won't do any good you know. Face it; he won't see you. Maybe he will once he's calmed down but right now it's just too raw for him."

"Yeah, I know." The silence stretched between the two friends awkwardly. "So, where do plan to debauch the lovely Miss Evans tonight?" Sirius asked suggestively, in an effort to lighten the mood.

"I plan to roger her silly under the starry sky."

"Ah, the astronomy tower. Good choice, it's supposed to be unusually warm out." He said with all the knowledge of an experienced teenage Lothario.

James finished dressing and paraded for Sirius to gain his opinion.

"Well, what'd you think?"

"Killer mate! All the birds'll be drooling over you on 'yer way to meet her."

"I only want one bird in particular drooling over me." James fidgeted with his shirt cuffs. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Fucking 'ell Jimbo, if I was on a promise I wouldn't give you a second thought. Look, I'll be fine." Padfoot reassured his friend. "Now go; shoo."

James checked his appearance once more before leaving Black all alone in the dormitory.

Sirius waited about five minutes; allowing ample time just in case Potter had forgotten something. When he felt confident that Prongs was truly gone, Sirius headed over to James' footlocker and retrieved his invisibility cloak. He knew he was about to commit a cardinal sin against the Marauders but he had convinced himself there was no other way and in the long run, it was for the greater good.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Please see chapter 1 for details

**Disclaimer: Please see chapter 1 for details.**

**A/N: Sorry for delayed update. **

**Chapter 14**

Sirius wrapped James' invisibility cloak around himself and made his way through Hogwarts to the Head Boy's quarters where Remus was now housed. Once there, Sirius sat upon the top stair out of the way and waited for either Remus to exit or someone to visit him.

He chose to wait for just the right opportunity rather than knock and wait for Moony to find no one there, as he reasoned that he would deduce that Sirius was responsible and scupper his plan. Let's face it; Remus was a fucking genius so he waited.

And waited.

And waited…

After two and half hours he had virtually given up when he spotted that bastard Bratherton swaggering his way up to Moony's room.

'Fuck!' He thought.

"Sir, could you please let Remus know that I'm here to visit him." The Ravenclaw asked the portrait.

The effigy disappeared briefly and then returned; the door swinging open to admit him.

Sirius readied himself to follow him in closely.

Once in, he stayed in the short darkened corridor to reduce his chances of being discovered but he could hear the innocent byplay between Remus and Bratherton.

The blond sat down next to the werewolf in a relaxed manner.

"Remy, how're you bearing up?" Michael asked; rubbing his back in a reassuring gesture.

"I'm fine."

"I haven't been by since last week 'cause I thought you'd be busy revising."

"Cheers, you're right. I've been busting my arse trying to cram like mad for my N.E.W.T.s before they toss my arse out of here."

Sirius had now moved silently to a corner of the room and had to stuff one of his hands into his mouth as listened to the sickening platitudes that the Ravenclaw was dishing out to _his_ Remus.

"Have you left your quarters at all since last week?"

Moony looked away; a deflated look on his face.

"No. The house elves pop in with my meals and Madam Pince gives them any books I request so there's really no need to leave."

"Has Potter visited you?"

"Yeah, James and Peter came on Wednesday lunchtime but that's it. I asked them not to come again for a while just in case Si... I mean Black tries to sneak in."

Sirius almost choked as he heard this. He realised that this was the first time that he actually had second thoughts about his plan.

"Remus." Michael said uncertainly. "I just wanted you to know that for what it's worth it doesn't matter to me. You know, you being a werewolf and all. I know you and I know that just because you were bitten by another werewolf and you change into one every full moon, that isn't the Remus Lupin I know and lov..."

"Mike, don't say it."

"But it's true. I do. I know we hadn't got around to actually saying the 'L word' but that doesn't mean we wouldn't have."

"Mike, I...er."

"Look I know that you think you've been in love with Black for years…" Sirius almost threw the cloak off and announced his presence at this revelation "…but I think you were more in love with being 'in love' with Sirius. How else could we have been together like we were?"

Sirius couldn't believe his ears. Remus was in love with him and had been for years!

Why the hell hadn't he noticed this before?

_Maybe because you were busy fucking your way through the female student body of Hogwarts._ His inner voice taunted.

"Maybe you're right." Remus conceded.

Hey, wait a minute! That bastard was trying to convince Remus that he wasn't in love with him.

This was bad.

If Bratherton was successful, Sirius would lose the most import bargaining chip he had in winning Moony back.

He had to think and think quickly. He began to panic when the Ravenclaw leaned in and kissed the young werewolf. Remus resisted at first but after a few moments, he hesitantly returned the kiss and then with gusto.

No!

No, no, no, NO!

This wasn't happening. He was not going to sit here and watch his love get down and dirty with his ex-boyfriend.

Black walked quietly over to the portrait hole and knocked on it loudly and then pressed himself tightly against the wall, ready to pounce.

The two men quickly broke apart.

Remus looked anxiously at Michael.

"Want me to answer it? Just in case it's Black?"

Remus nodded.

The Ravenclaw made his way down the dark corridor to the entrance and opened it. He was perplexed that there was no one there. He turned to the portrait of Professor Dorning.

"Who knocked at the door Sir?"

"Why, no one Master Bratherton."

At that point Sirius struck.

He forced the young man out through the portrait hole and outside onto the landing. Then quickly slammed the portrait shut.

"_Clausus!_" He cast a blockade spell onto the entrance so that no one could interrupt him and Remus and returned to the small sitting room to a rather bewildered werewolf.

He threw off the invisibility cloaked and announced his presence to a shocked Lupin.

"I'm sorry Moony but desperate times call for desperate measures. You wouldn't see me and we need to talk."


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:**** See chapter 1**

**A/N:**** I would like to thank all the readers of this story and a special thanks to those of you kind folks who have persevered with my little fic and left reviews. I know it has been a long time since I updated YCAGWYW but as I have mentioned previously, I've had a terrible case of writers block, couple that with being rota'd onto permanent night shifts and gutting my house from top to bottom, these haven't been conducive to motivating my lazy arsed muse.**

**However, enough with the excuses and enjoy chapter 15.**

**Chapter 15**

Remus stared absently into the flames of the fire that blazed away in the hearth of his little sitting room.

He was taking a well earned break from his studies. Ditzy, one of the house elves assigned to him had popped in briefly before to remove his dirty crockery from evening meal.

He realised, in his contemplation that it had been a week since this whole fiasco began. This time last week, he, Prongs and Wormtail had sat in Dumbledore's office and explained the cause of the fight.

Moony still had trouble believing that this was all real. In the space of a week, his life had turned to shit. He was about to be expelled from Hogwarts, his best friend and secret love had outed his two deepest secrets to the entire population of the school. It was like one of those nightmares that seem _so_ real and that you struggle to wake from.

But this was no nightmare. This was really happening and from which there was no escape.

Just then, Sir Artimus alerted him that Michael was asking permission to visit. Remus gave his consent, to which the portrait swung open allowing the Ravenclaw to enter.

Mike sat down next to the Remus on the tatty old sofa.

"Remy, how're you bearing up?" Michael asked.

"I'm fine." Remus lied.

"I haven't been by since last week 'cause I thought you'd be busy revising."

"Cheers, you're right. I've been busting my arse trying to cram like mad for my N.E.W.T.s before they toss my arse out of here." Remus said, gesturing to the piles of text tomes that littered the small living space.

"Have you left your quarters at all since last week?"

The werewolf looked away, desperately trying to hide his despair.  
"No. The house elves pop in with my meals and Madam Pince gives them any books I request so there's really no need to leave." He said dejectedly.

"Has Potter visited you?"

"Yeah, James and Peter came on Wednesday lunchtime but that's it. I asked them not to come again for a while just in case Si..." He stuttered, he was no longer Sirius to him. "…I mean Black tries to sneak in."

"Remus, I just wanted you to know that for what it's worth it doesn't matter to me." Lupin looked at Mike questioningly. "You know, you being a werewolf and all. I know you and I know that just because you were bitten by another werewolf and you change into one every full moon, that isn't the Remus Lupin I know and lov...."

"Mike, don't say it."

Oh God, please don't say it! He thought.

"But it's true. I do. I know we hadn't got around to actually saying the 'L word' but that doesn't mean we wouldn't have."

"Mike, I...er."

"Look I know that you think you've been in love with Black for years but I think you were more in love with being 'in love' with Sirius. How else could we have been together like we were?"

"Maybe you're right." Remus conceded.

Michael leaned in and brushed his lips against Remus'. At first, he wasn't sure if he should complicate things further.

Complicate things further? How the fuck could things get even more complicated than there were already? He had no other secrets that he was hiding, so how could it get any worse?

He argued with himself that he could use a little comfort right now, after everything that had happened. He closed his eyes and eagerly returned the kiss. To his inner disgust though, he imagined that he was snogging Padfoot, not Mike.

The two men quickly broke apart when someone knocked at the door.

Remus looked anxiously at Michael.

"Want me to answer it? Just in case it's Black?"

Remus swallowed, and nodded mutely.

The Ravenclaw made his way down the dark corridor to the entrance and opened it. He was perplexed to find that there was no one there. He turned to the portrait of Professor Dorning.

"Who knocked at the door Sir?"

"Why, no one Master Bratherton."

All of a sudden, the young Ravenclaw was shoved unceremoniously through the portrait hole and out onto the landing; the guarding portrait slamming shut behind him.

_"Clausus!"_ Remus heard a disembodied voice cast the blockade spell on the entrance.

Remus recognised Sirius voice and as expected he became visible as he discarded James' invisibility cloak.

"I'm sorry Moony but desperate times call for desperate measures. You wouldn't see me and we need to talk."

Lupin flopped back in his seat resignedly. This meeting had been inevitable, so better to get it out of the way now so he could get on with his revising, passing his N.E. and begin making his way in the wizarding world.

"Fine, let me at least assure Mike that I'm okay. We can't exactly talk with that racket going on." He said referring to Bratherton banging loudly on the portrait.

Remus made his way down the corridor and knocked back on the door.

"Michael, listen yes it's Sirius but don't worry, we're just going to talk. Just give us five or ten minutes, believe me it won't take long."

"Okay…" He answered back. "…but if he doesn't leave by then, I'm getting Dumbledore."

"Ooohh, getting the headmaster are we?" Sirius shouted mockingly from behind Remus. "I'm so scared. Why don't you come in and I'll show you just why the Black family are so feared."

"Sirius!" Remus chided. "Mike, don't get the Headmaster, if all else fails, get James and Peter, okay?"

A reluctant okay filtered back through.

Remus turned and glared at Sirius, who still stood behind him in the cramped passageway. He felt claustrophobic being at such close quarters with Black.

"Well?" Lupin said belligerently. "Go on through, your time's running out."

The two Gryffindors made their way back to the sitting area. Remus braced himself for the ensuing onslaught.

Sirius paced back and forth like a caged lion, as he thought about what he was going to say to Remus, who sat expectantly on the edge of the sofa.

"Well?"

Sirius stopped.

"I know that this may seem like too little, too late but for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Remus stared blankly at Padfoot, contemplating his words and then did the only thing that came to mind. He laughed.

Hysterically.

Sirius merely stared at the laughing werewolf; watching him wipe away the mirthless tears from his amber eyes.

"Oh, Sirius that's rich. Honestly." He said calming slightly. "You're sorry. Sorry for ruining my life. Thank you Sirius for that heartfelt apology."

Black looked confused, unsure how to take Lupin's words.

"Well, I forgive you Padfoot."

"Seriously?" He asked hopefully.

"Fuck no!" He yelled. "Did you really believe that you could come in here in some tepid act of contrition and expect everything that you did would be automatically be forgiven because you said sorry?"

He stood up, facing toe to toe with him. Remus marvelled at Black's arrogance. "You know, I honestly believed you did."

"But, but…" Sirius stammered. "…you love me."

Before the last syllable left his lips, his head ricocheted sidewards with the force of Remus' hand slapping him hard.

"And trust you to use that against me."

"But I, I…I love you too Remus." Black admitted reluctantly.

"And which Christmas cracker did you pull that excuse from?"

"I do. I know I fucked up Remus and I'm going to do everything within my power to make this right. Please Remus…" He begged. "What can I do to make this right between us?"

Remus thought carefully for a second as he contemplated his answer. Amber eyes staring into grey-blue orbs, he replied honestly.

"Make this whole mess never to have happened Sirius."


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:**** See chapter 1**

**A/N:**** I know, I know. I haven't updated in an age and I know it's only a short one. What can I say, life sucks and there are so many great fanfic stories out there within the fandom that **_**need**_** to be read! Anyway, hoping to update all and finally put my two WIPs to bed before embarking on my next project. Anyway, enjoy! **

**P.S. a big thanks to all who have reviewed.**

**Chapter 16**

Sirius stared despondently up at the canopy of his bed in the Gryffindor tower that night. He'd been depressed since his conversation with Remus earlier. How the hell was he supposed to make it right by making it as if this whole incident hadn't happened?

Yes, he was a wizard but that didn't make him a fucking miracle worker!

Shit! How he _wished_ that he could make it all never have happened. Well, only the bad bits. He quite enjoyed the two blow jobs he'd received from Remus.

Determined to find a solution to Remus' challenge; Sirius continue to ponder his dilemma, his resolve only growing as time passed.

Over the following weeks, his spare time was filled with exploring possible solutions to his predicament and his slumbering hours filled with both deliciously hot dreams of Moony and nightmares of being ostracised and of Lupin cutting him out of his life forever.

The day eventually dawned though when Remus had to leave Hogwarts. He had successfully passed his N.E. with exceptionally high marks. Sirius had not seen him since their exchange in his new quarters but he did manage to sneak a few minutes alone with the young werewolf before he left the school grounds. However, the meeting was awkward to say the least but undeterred, Sirius summoned all of his Gryffindor bravery to say goodbye to his love.

Breaking the uncomfortable silence between them as they walked towards the apparation point outside the school gates, Black announced suddenly.

"I'm working on it you know? I haven't given up." Remus looked at him blankly.

"What you said back in your room." The animagus added. "About making it right; making it so it had never happened."

Remus continued to look at him for a while and then his vacant expression changed to one of exasperation.

"Don't waste your time Padfoot. I didn't think you'd take what I'd said so literally. You can't undo it; it simply can't be done. Time-turners…"

"Time-turners are limited only, to at the maximum 24 hours because of the magic they use and not an option. See, I've been researching it." He declared proudly.

"Don't you think I haven't thought about it myself? If it could be undone then I would researched it further." Remus said, ignoring the previous comment.

"So why did you tell me that if it's impossible?" Sirius caught on before Remus had time to explain himself. "Oh, I get now. Stupid Sirius doesn't understand the fine art of sarcasm."

He felt hurt that he'd taken Moony at his word and thought he could begin to make amends by taking up the challenge. He now realised that Remus hadn't been serious. He quickly dismissed his feelings though. He had absolutely no right _whatsoever_ to feel put out.

It was he that had caused this entire incident and he was lucky that Lupin was _even_ allowing him to speak to him at all. This was his responsibility to rectify the mess he'd created through his stupid selfish behaviour.

Sirius took Remus' hand and looked at him deeply and with sincerity. The werewolf shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm so sorry Remus for everything. I know it's too little, too late and I just didn't realise it at the time and was just ashamed of my burgeoning sexuality. Black's aren't poufs you understand." Sirius held his other hand up to stop Lupin interrupting him. "I know, I hate my family and all that they stand for but please believe me, some things are harder to disregard when they are bred into you almost from birth. I was raised to believe that being queer is as bad as being a blood traitor or squib and I didn't want to accept that I was having those feelings." He breathed in deeply after his long speech.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bratherton walking towards them from Hogwarts.

Realising that their time was short and before he could react, he quickly kissed a shocked Remus hotly before they were interrupted.

"I love you and don't ever forget that. I promise you that I am going to find a way to right this Moony, even if it takes me until my dying day. All I ask is one thing."

Sirius looked at Remus expectantly and he dumbly nodded his consent.

"Try and be happy..." He tilted his head towards the oncoming Ravenclaw. "...even if it's with him." Black said genuinely.

In the time it took for Remus to turn to where Sirius had indicated, seeing Michael coming over, he strode away quickly. Padfoot had no intentions of sticking around and witnessing their sentimental goodbyes.

Although, he selfishly couldn't help but feel grateful as he heard the distinctive crack of apparation after only a few short steps.

_A not so sentimental goodbye after all. _He thought happily.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:**** See chapter 1**

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews. To those who have left comments on my writing style, thank for your input; I welcome any constructive criticism as this is how improvements are made. I would though, like to address some of these issues mentioned. **

**One reviewer commented on how I refer to both Sirius and Remus by their surnames in the text and that this is something that they would not do as close friends. I agree, however, if you read where I do this, you will see that this is ****only**** done so in the narrative/description of the plot and not Sirius or Remus referring/thinking directly to/or about each other. This is done merely to prevent the repetition of the same names over and over and it allows for the story/text to flow nicely. I feel this is necessary, due to the fact that both of the main characters are male and it's very difficult to differentiate between when switching between the two of them in speech, thought and narrative. **

**Another issue mentioned is that the last chapter was rather **_**light,**_** or lacked the depth expected. Also, there were a number of things not explained. I apologise if this seemed the case. After reviewing the chapter more closely, I can see how this opinion may have been reached as you, the reader, do not have my insight to where it was coming from. For this I apologise. On the other hand...you **_**will**_** notice from previous chapters that my writing style for this particular fic has always been to P.O.V each incident from both angles and as you read this chapter, you will see the missing bits (mostly) are included and explain this. Another thing to consider on this matter is how I have characterised Sirius from the start. He is as shallow as a puddle and Remus is the one with the depth, so the deep exploration of events and feelings has and will always come from the Lupin character. I hope this clears a few things up. **

**Anyway, with those issues now discussed, on with chapter 17. **

**8=~ 8=~ 8=~ 8=~**

**Chapter 17**

Remus tossed and turned restlessly in his bed later that night. He'd been depressed since his conversation with Sirius earlier. What the hell had he been thinking when he challenged him to make it right by making it as if this whole incident hadn't happened? It was impossible. Maybe that's why he'd done it.

Yes, Sirius was a talented wizard but he lacked the discipline and intelligence to research something of this magnitude! Hell, he'd even searched for an answer in between revising for his N.E. and found nothing even remotely promising. It was a hopeless cause.

Shit! How he _wished_ that he could make it all never have happened. Remus wanted his life back to how it was. It simply wasn't fair, but it was just another unfortunate event in a series of unfortunate events that had plagued Remus Lupin's entire life.

Over the next few weeks, his spare time was filled with exam revision and his slumbering hours filled with both erotically charged dreams of Sirius and nightmares of at best being ostracised by wizarding society; at worse being euthanised by the Ministry for his lycanthropy.

And then finally, the week leading up to his transformation, his exams arrived.

As expected he passed them with flying colours and the day eventually dawned for him to leave Hogwarts. He spent his penultimate night transforming in the shrieking shack and his final night recovering in the hospital wing.

He and Mike had said a brief goodbye after breakfast that morning. Later, Dumbledore had walked with him from his quarters to the main entrance. He had told the young werewolf that he would always be there for him should he ever need anything and that all he had to do was owl him. On seeing that James and Peter were waiting for him there, the old headmaster left the friends to say goodbye to each other in private. What had happened next had surprised Remus no end.

"You won't forget to write will you?" James asked.

"No, I'll owl you in a few days, when I get settled back in at home."

"Okay then. Look..." James said furtively. "I need to ask you a big favour."

"Anything Prongs, you know that. After everything you've done for me, it's the least I could do."

"It's a reach put it that way. I want us to say our goodbyes here."

"I understand, you don't want a drawn out goodbye at the apparition point."

"It's not that Moony. I wouldn't ask otherwise, it's just that, well…he really is sorry and I believe him. It's just he aske..." James cleared his throat nervously, indicating with his head to the corner of the foyer, where stood a very nervous and unsure Sirius. "…he asked me if he could speak with you alone and say goodbye but you don't have to if you _really_ don't want to mate."

He had not seen Sirius since their exchange in his new quarters. After a moment of mental contemplation, he nodded his silent consent to both of them and started to walk outside.

Sirius and Remus walked silently, neither breaking the uncomfortable silence between them as they walked towards the apparation point outside the school gates. Suddenly, Black spoke.

"I'm working on it you know? I haven't given up." Remus looked at him blankly.

"What you said back in your room." The animagus added. "About making it right; making it so it had never happened."

Remus continued to look at him for a while and then his vacant expression changed to one of exasperation as he realised what Sirius was referring to; his challenge to him of making the entire incident to have never happened. He was torn between his the knowledge that it was an impossible task that Sirius was wasting his time upon and anger that Sirius thought that what had happened could simply be wiped out of existence and all would be well between them again.

Did he really think that he'd trust him again after the depth of his betrayal?

"Don't waste your time Padfoot. I didn't think you'd take what I'd said so literally. You can't undo it; it simply can't be done. Time-turners…"

"Time-turners are limited only, to at the maximum 24 hours because of the magic they use and not an option. See, I've been researching it." He declared proudly.

"Don't you think I haven't thought about it myself? If it could be undone then I would researched it further." Remus said, ignoring him.

"So why did you tell me that if it's impossible? Oh, I get now. Stupid Sirius doesn't understand the fine art of sarcasm."

Remus watched a gamut of emotions pass over Black's face, from anger to resignation to silent acceptance. This disconcerted the young werewolf. He's expected a more volatile reaction from the old Sirius.

He was even more surprised when Sirius took his hand and looked at him deeply and with sincerity. He shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm so sorry Remus for everything. I know it's too little, too late and I just didn't realise it at the time and was just ashamed of my burgeoning sexuality. Black's aren't poufs you understand." Lupin began to interrupt him but was quickly stopped mid sentence. "I know, I hate my family and all that they stand for but please believe me, some things are harder to disregard when they are bred into you almost from birth. I was raised to believe that being queer is as bad as being a blood traitor or squib and I didn't want to accept that I was having those feelings."

He saw Sirius look away and swear under his breath. He followed Sirius' line of vision and noticed that was Mike walking briskly towards them from the school.

Before he could react, Black quickly kissed him. He felt disgusted at himself as he hardened from it.

"I love you and don't ever forget that. I promise you that I am going to find a way to right this Moony, even if it takes me until my dying day. All I ask is one thing."

Shocked from his heartfelt declaration, he could only nod dumbly at Sirius' request.

"Try and be happy..." Padfoot tilted his head towards the approaching Mike. "...even if it's with him." He said genuinely and then fled.

Remus didn't want to face a confrontation between himself and Mike about Sirius. He simply wanted to leave and think things over. Giving the Ravenclaw a brief wave goodbye he apparated away.


End file.
